Life Changes

As most of you now know, my new web site is up and running. Of course there have been glitches and hiccups but that’s all normal. I hope you like this new site as much as I do. It is such a breath of fresh air with its lightness and color.

I have been putting off writing a blog because basically, I resist change and I hate having to slow down and learn new things. I just like to do. So I haven’t taken the time to look through the tutorials long enough to write a blog. Like I said I am resistant to change and get annoyed when I have to stop long enough to learn something new.

So with that in mind I have  to really stop in my tracks and look at my life. I am resistant to change? Who am I kidding?

On Sept 4th this year I packed a suitcase and left the USA headed back to the land of my birth and upbringing- Kuala Lumpur Malaysia. It takes 24 flying hours to get from Detroit to Kuala Lumpur. I have made this journey almost every single year since I left as a teenager to study dance in London. The pull home has always been a powerful one. I have travelled with babes in arms, first one then two and then three of them, alone for business or with the whole family for vacations. After 25 years in the States and with two kids off leading their own lives, I knew the time had come to go home.

So here I am, set up for the time being in my mother’s flat in the middle of the beautiful city of Kuala Lumpur. How fitting too that this flat is on the street that I grew up. My childhood home, once almost in the country is now gone, in its place apartment blocks reaching for the sky.

I am learning to live in a big city. Learning to love the noise and the smells and the busyness of it all. And learning to LOVE it. I sit on my tiny verandah and watch life hurl by. So different from small town America. I am remembering the smells of Asia, the different languages, the “manglish” that I speak. I am breathing it all in with a sense of peace and contentent. I am finally where my heart has been all of these years.

I have started running in the early mornings to avoid the traffic and I run with the bats that swoop low over my head, avoiding the rats crawling out of the monsoon drains, startled by my presence, listening to the call to prayer from the mosque vieing with the call of the rooster. Ah, only in Asia!

I am eating hot,spicey food and luscious fruit, enjoying the sun everyday, and trying to drive through monsoon rains that cover my windshield like a blanket. I drive like a maniac (read Malaysian) scaring my 16 year old daughter into NEVER learning how to drive . I have been up into the hills steeping myself in the mysteries of the billion year old rain forest, listening to the whoop of the monkeys as they swing from tree to tree. I have sat on white sandy beaches, burning in the tropical sun, licking the salt off my lips. I am shopping in exquisite malls with the top end designer shops (but buying my clothes elsewhere!)

But most of all, I am deeply grateful for the fact that I can call my brother up and meet him for a drink or stop at my mother’s flat after school pickup to just hang out. Or take my mother shopping and have lunch with her. Or call my brother with a work question, Or have them both to dinner. They are no longer half a world away.

And the friends I went to school with. After over 40 years  of long distance, sporadic  friendship, to have them all so close. To be able to meet them at a drop of a hat, to reconnect, to have so much love around me is intoxicating and renewing.

So I have made some changes here in my life. I have not been resistant to them and I am wondering now, what took me so long.

Life is so very, very good.

Pilates Workshops

Just like any other Pilates instructor, I am always on the lookout for continuing education, especially in Women’s Health issues.

I have attended a considerable number of workshops on the pelvic floor, menopause and pre/post natal. While I have come away with more “evidenced based” or “scientifically researched” information, I have not come away with a sense of the miracle of my body and all it can accomplish. I have also not come away with any applicable information that I can readily use with my “normal” everyday clients. So I put my hand out away and seemingly never use the information again even though I am always happy I went.

What I take issue with is the constant bombardment of the fact that there is any “issue” with our bodies at all. Not every one has a pelvic floor “dysfunction” so how do I teach pelvic floor work to a “normal” client? Not everyone has damage from childbirth. Not all of us have any of the problems put forth by the media about menopause.So it got me thinking that what we are teaching the younger generation about is a fear and distrust of our bodies, particularly for women.

If there isn’t a problem, don’t create one. I take the PMA’s code of ethics seriously when it tells me not to diagnose,prescribe or teach outside my scope of practice. I am not a doctor, physical therapist or psychologist and I don’t pretend to be. I am a Pilates Teacher. I am a relatively good one but I stick to what I know and never try to “fix” anyone. I also believe in the innate wisdom of the body to be optimally healthy and as humans our role is to aid that ability by eating well, sleeping well, staying stress free and exercising, be it Yoga, running, aerobics and/or Pilates. Not isolating one aspect and thinking that Pilates will somehow, miraculously, free us from all our physical abnormalities.

I try very hard not to be negative about anyone’s body and any dysfunction (if there is one). I have a wonderful 60 year old client with scoliosis. She has no pain and has had the condition all her life. She performs the roll up beautifully if a little crookedly. I have been to scoliosis workshops but have never used the information to “correct” my client. She is extremely happy with the way she feels and is excited about being able to do all the exercises in class.

I understand that there are times when the extra knowledge I aquire is useful but only in ascertaining which of my clients to refer out to the doctors, physical therapists and psychologists (that last one would fit ALL my clients).

So maybe the workshops being presented to us Pilates Instructors are just a little beyond our scope of practice, maybe a little unnessecary for where we are and maybe just a little bit inapplicable to most of our clients. But more importantly, maybe they are making us look differently at our clients and “seeing” problems that aren’t necessarily there? (Yes,please answer this question)

But mostly, I really want to go to a workshop that tells me that all is well with my body, that all I am going to learn about is how it works, through some anatomy, learn some of the problems that SOME people may face and come back with my belief in my bodys’ ability to function, intact.

A Mother’s Journey

I know this has nothing to do with Pilates but everything to do with being a mother.

My daughter spent the last month in Ecuador as part of an organisation called International Student Volunteers.The run up to the time she left was spent wondering if she should go, would she enjoy it, saying yes then saying no. A normal range of emotions for any 20 year old on her first trip to an unknown country.

Melanie has travelled all her young life. She has often accompanied me on my trips and has been backward and forward to Malaysia since she was a few months old to visit her Nana. So she is no stranger to planes and jetlag and time differences. Only this time she didn’t know anyone.

But I wanted her to believe that life is there for the taking, that every experience was a chance to grow, a peek into anMy role in all of this was to keep encouraging her to just do it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, you don’t know until you try……all of the cliches I could think of. But a small part of me was scared. She would be far  away from family. What if she got sick, ran out of money, the organisation was a scam? All normal emotions for a mother sending her daughter into the unknown.

A Pilates Journey

I am back. Not that anyone except my cat noticed. Now he will get fed again.

I went to Australia to teach.

I was lucky flying to Sydney this time. That dreaded middle seat remained empty and I was able to fold myself up into a pretzel and managed to sleep (sort of) for seven out of the 15 hour flight. Little did I know though, that while we were up in the heavens, Sydney airport had once again closed because of the volcanic ash. It made me think that the world could disappear and we wouldn’t know until we tried to land.

I took a short (12 hour) nap and was up bright and early Friday morning (3 a.m)ready to teach. That first day teaching with chronic jetlag is very amusing.

I spent one weekend in Sydney, teaching the Pelvic Floor workshop and the prenatal course plus the new Master’s program. All went well. (At least I think so, no one complained).

Then I headed to Melbourne to teach a four hour Diastasis course. Then up to the Sunshine Coast where my wonderlust eldest daughter had managed to stop for a few weeks, long enough for me to see her. It was tough to leave her.

This is all I saw of Melbourne!

Then back to Sydney for the final round of postnatal and menopause courses.

Sydney never fails to impress me. I have been going to Leeon and Shaw Pilates Studio for 6 years now. I feel like one of the family. I love the way Brad and Ingrid train their teachers and the very positive atmosphere of the studio. They asked if I could teach a myofascial release class for their “staff day” on Friday afternoon. This was one of the best times I have had teaching.

Staff day turned out to be all the staff plus any children they had. It was a riot.We had kids flinging themselves off the cadillac. Doing flips over the barrels and jumping on the balls. It may sound like they were disruptive and rude. But the total opposite is true. They were so comfortable in that environment. The older ones watched the younger ones and nobody hurt themselves. They tried some of what I was teaching but mostly just had a great time. The teachers took it all in their stride and managed to listen and practice what I was teaching. It was just plain FUN. And how wonderful for the kids to be so incorporated into their mother’s lives.

After two weeks away, I was ready to head back to Michigan. As has become my tradition, I get to the airport with lots of time for breakfast. I look forward to this amazing Mango/Coconut Bread, toasted, with butter on the side. My once a year treat!

And this year an unexpected treat- upgraded to business class ALL the way to Detroit- LIFE IS GOOD!

A Pilates Home Studio

I very often get asked about having a studio in my home. Some think it’s the best thing since sliced bread and others are aghast at the thought.

I started my studio in the basement of my house in 1994. I was the mother of two young children ages 6 and 3. My professional dance career had ended in the delivery room when I gave birth to my first daughter. Gone were the thoughts of flinging her over my shoulder with my dance bag, heading back to class. I wasn’t prepared for that fierce protective “tiger mother” feeling. Once my second daugther was born I was basically a recluse. NO ONE was going to look after my children. EVERY one was a prospective child molester as far as I was concerned. (I have to admit, by the time my third daughter made her appearance, I was close to selling my children anyway)

But motherhood can be a very draining career and I was beginning to chomp at the bit to be doing something else. So unexpectedly pregnant with my last child, I went about building a studio into the walk out basement of my house. It was supposed to be a temporary measure. It was also supposed to be something to make me some pocket money.

Having the home studio served it’s purpose well. I never had to leave the house in below freezing temperatures, I never had to miss teaching if I had a sick child at home and I could ALWAYS do the laundry, cook the dinner, mop the floors, make the beds, clean the bathrooms, change the cat litter, dig up weeds, in between clients.

On the business side, the money I made was ALL mine. I had no overheads. I bought my Pilates equipment with cash. I never owed anyone anything. But as my children got older, I wanted sonething more. I WANTED to get ready and GO to work. I wanted to see other people in the course of the day. I wanted to sit at Starbucks and watch the world go by in my free time.

But in 2008, when the recession hit Michigan, I was so very glad I never made the move out of my basement. I have survived the last few years because of where I am. If I only had 3 clients and not 30, it didn’t matter. I didn’t have to stress. And in the quiet time, I slowly built up my Teacher Training Programs and began to teach internationally. Now I travel most weekends, sometimes as far away as Australia or as close as downtown Ann Arbor.

And I am so thankful for my sanctuary here in the quiet of my basement. I sit at my computer in one room, writing my programs and all I have to do is jump up and try a new exercise out on reformer or chair in the other room. I look out onto the back garden, all flowers and butterflies at this time of year and see the blue heron in the water catching fish.

I can still keep an eye on my only child left at home, listening for her footsteps overhead. I have my last remaining cat, sitting on my desk next to the model of the pelvis.

I sit here in the morning with my cup of tea and I am still sitting here at 6 in the evening with my glass of wine. The outside world is far away and its peaceful and calm.

Ummm no, wait …something’s going on upstairs and it doesn’t sound good. “sigh”

The Mental Body of Your Pilates Client

Now this is a body that most of us are (unconciously) conciously aware of.

This is our “thinking” body. The one with which we make our rational decisions based on information and input from the inside and outside world.This is the mind part of our body/mind discipline of Pilates.

For the most part, our thoughts are the vehicle through which our emotions are brought forth. It gives you the language in which to communicate to the outside world how you are feeling.

But somewhere, somehow, something has been lost in the translation of our feelings into our thinking body.

How many of us can overide our feelings and rationalise the thought? How many of us have the ability to shut down the emotional part of ourselves in the fear of seeming “wrong or different”?

This for me, becomes glaringly obvious during Pilates sessions. One of my favorite cues is “how does this exercise feel?” The answer?…”fine, just fine”. Two days later the client is in pain and has cancelled her appointment. Do I feel I am to blame? No. I try very hard to get my clients to understand THEIR responsibility for their own welfare. If they feel pain, they should stop. BUT for the most part, we have been indoctrinated with the concept that exercise should hurt if it is to be productive. No pain, no gain. So most of us have over ridden the emotional body that is feeling the discomfort and replaced this with our thinking body telling us that “this is good pain”,”it has to get worse before it can get better”, ” a sore muscle means you’ve worked out”.

What this means is that there is no balance between the subtle bodies. Sometimes an overly emotional person just needs time to stop and think about the situation just as an emotionally challenged person needs to open up and feel more. But our society today has become far too much an intellectualised,reason and researched based entity detached from feelings.

One of the best things about Pilates I “feel” is the ability to create a space in which it is safe for the client to acknowledge and open up to all the subtle bodies. The physical/etheric, emotional and mental.The Pilates principle of breathing begins this journey by allowing the body to calm and focus. Then the physical body is activated by the movement. The emotional body allows the client to decide what feels good and what doesn’t and then the mental body makes the decision to change the position, add or decrease the resistance of the springs, ask for more stretches, or if all else fails, realise that today is NOT a good day to exercise and go home

The Emotional Body of Your Pilates Client

This subtle body that emanates a distance from your physical and etheric bodies is the place that holds all of our emotions.

This is our “feeling” body. This subtle body translates vibrations into feelings. These feelings emcompass all- joy, happiness, anger, sadness- all mixed up in one whole.

The emotional body connects the soul to the mind. We begin with how we feel and then we think about it. It is the pathway for the soul to communicate to us.

But in this day and age, most of us ignore this subtle body. We are taught to rationalise our feelings turning them into something they are not. We have moved away from “feeling” our feelings and into “thinking” our feelings and in the end not figuring anything out. When we don’t acknowledge the feeling, whether good or bad, we essentially begin to shut down and become blocked. If someone tells us we shouldn’t feel a certain way, we dismiss an important part of ourselves. Feelings are real, they are there for the moment to be looked at and processed and allowed to flow through. However, when it comes to pain or anger or any other negative emotion, most of us turn away from them because these are not feelings that we are “allowed” to have. But they are just as valid as feeling happy and joyful and peaceful.

Most of this stored emotion is projected into our physical body and becomes the tension and tightness that we see in our clients.When we do release work with them, we are releasing so much more than the muscular tension or the fascial tightness. We are helping them release years of pent up emotions. The reason Pilates helps so many people function better is not only on that physical plane. It is so much more than a mind body modality.

You as an instructor may not realise the extent of the release and sometimes neither will your client. But you will see them begin to seem brighter, stand straighter and have more energy as the days go by. You,as the instructor do not need to know what the emotional release is about. The trauma that caused it becomes irrelevant, but with the release begins the healing process. This may all be happening at an unconcious level to start off with but many clients become much more aware of their emotional body as they become more aware of the physical one. It’s a win/win situation.

And if Pilates make your client “feel” better, what more can we ask for?

The Physical/Etheric Body

The physical body is the one we can all see and the body that we all agonise over. How you look is of the utmost importance in todays world. Hence the drive to exercise relentlessly.The adverts are out there to coerce you into thinking that all is NOT well with your body.

I made the wrong choice when I decided to become a Pilates instructor- I should have sold diet pills or the latest ab exerciser. I would have made millions. But that, for me and many of you, would have been living a lie .

In order to make permanent changes to our lives and our physical bodies, we have to look at the whole person. What IS driving your client to come to class seven days a week? Why do they use ALL the springs on the reformer? What is behind this need to essentially beat themselves up?

This is where you,as an instructor can help your client calm down and respect their physical body and honor who and what they are, in the body they inhabit right now.You will be able to hand them the tools that may help them come to their own conclusions. You are the authority when it comes to the program design, so give them what they need and not what they want.

But just what IS the physical/etheric body? As with all the different bodies- this one is made up of energy. The energy at this level is the densest and has the slowest vibration. The one we can actually see. It is the vehicle that holds all the other subtle bodies- the emotional, mental and spiritual bodies. And the connection between all of these bodies is the etheric body.

Picture from www.harusami.com

This body projects slightly away from the physical body. I look at the etheric body as being the fascia- the connective tissue that holds it all together. So you cannot really separate your emotions from your workout. You bring them with you!

What we need to understand is how to facilitate a balancing of these subtle bodies to create that stillness and calm within.You know how you feel at the end of a good workout. You feel energised yet peaceful,bright yet relaxed,strong and flexible. Your instructor has balanced you whether you realise it or not. But how did they do it?

Breathing plays a big part in all of this.Maybe that is why Joseph Pilates said it was the most important principle. Much can be accomplished with deep breathing, rthymic breathing and percussive breathing, any type of breathing, but be aware of HOW you’re breathing. Small shallow, chest breaths or deep, to the end of your lungs breaths?

The fast shallow breath, in and out of the mouth is a stress breath and will keep you at the level of fight or flight. The slower, deeper breath is the rest and digest breath that will clear your mind, focus you and calm you enough to be able to see the bigger picture of your life. It can create the stillness within while you exercise with concentration, quality, precision and total body integration. It wil create the space for your physical body to move and your etheric body to connect to the life force of the universe and maybe in that one hour session- you will find some of the answers you are seeking.