These past few weeks have been unsettling to say the least. I liken my life at this point to a ride on a motor boat. I have been on fast forward for so many years, getting caught up in that whole picture of what success looks like to others. I travel the world, I’ve built my small home based business into the international teacher training organisation it is today and have honed my skills and knowledge as a teacher.
But in the middle of that vast ocean, I ran out of fuel.
And there I was, staring into the unknown, full of fear and apprehension and anxiety. As per usual, my form of learning about something is to be hit around the back of the head with a two by four. I talk relentlessly about recognizing your limits, knowing when to say no and to give yourself time and rest. But I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching. Very unintentionally I might add.
So here I am, stranded and having to look deep inside and acknowledge that somewhere along the way, I lost my vision and my purpose.
I’ve sat here for a couple of weeks and have made one big decision. That of letting go of my teaching practice. The vision I have right now is not entirely clear but it’s there on the horizon.
So at this point, I am visualizing this small motor boat as a luxury liner and making that magnificent slow roll as I begin the turn back to the place where I must have jumped overboard. I will pick myself up, give me a big hug as well as a good talking to (as mothers tend towards) and then let me know that it is ok. Everything is as it should be.