I put this quote up on my Facebook page for Martin Luther King Day. I had thought that it would be warm and fuzzy and that people would like it. Well, some did. Others not so much.
But it got me thinking. It is easy to say the words, but do we truly feel this at a cellular level. Yes, I can SAY I will stick to love, but when I took it into my everyday life, I came up wanting.
I feel it is sometimes hard to know when loving must stop and boundaries should be in place. Or maybe loving can remain even though boundaries are in place? The reaction of some to my message on Facebook was startling. Rather than react to the vitriol, I stepped back. It very quickly became (of course) political.
But as an afterthought, I wondered if stepping back was the correct decision. Wouldn’t it have been better to say something that would establish my boundaries? I think we all get too caught up in trying to be loving at all costs. But it’s NOT OK to allow someone to walk all over you just because you love them.
It took a long time for that to sink in.
And then I questioned myself on whether I was authentically loving everyone. I wasn’t. I was being judgmental and shaming and blaming, just like we all do. But why was that? I had to really be honest and say it is because I am insecure. Why? Because perhaps, maybe, could it possibly be that the person I should really love- unconditionally, deeply, imperfectly, at all costs, is myself and I wasn’t doing that?
Because every day I make it clear to me that I don’t.
“I hate my body today!”
“Gosh what a mess I made of that.”
“No one is going to come to my class.”
“I look terrible in that video.”
“I am not good enough, smart enough, just not enough.”
This is NOT OK.
So, I’m deciding to TRULY stick to love at all costs with my boundaries in place, my antenna up, lovingly refusing to take delivery of bullshit from myself.