Finding strength through insanity

When life throws a curve ball at you, you can either duck, or catch it and throw it back.

The past few years of my life have brought about incredible changes. Some very painful, others happy but always at a price. I believe that you have to have the courage to look your demons in the eye and change your way of thinking. That you have to go further into yourself than you ever thought possible. You have to be brave enough to handle the utter desolation that you will feel because at the bottom of the bottom are your answers. Only those who can make this journey to the center of their being are the ones who truly change their lives. Change is NOT comfortable I want change and I am very willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. I have to do this all the way for myself or not at all. If I am scared to rock the boat I’d better get off right now. But I am in the boat and sailing on.

Movement has always been a part of my life. It has seen me through the worst of times. It has held my physical body together as my emotional body fell apart. It has cleared my mind and settled my soul. It has exhausted me enough to sleep soundly.

But I am not talking about Pilates. I am not talking about breathing through the pain, releasing the tension in my body. I am not talking about the “miraculous” effect most seem to attribute to the Pilates Method. I am not talking about alignment and springs and the mind body connection. I am not talking about the peace and calm of most Pilates studio.

When the going gets as tough as this, a long heart pounding, joint jerking, hip aching, gut wrenching, lung burning, run until you collapse. A sweating, angry, fist clenching, teeth gritting explosion of pure physical energy is the only way for me to stand up and say

Fuck you life- bring it on.

Pilates? Not so much.

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